It's Friday, Issue #121

a board game and a parenting trick

Thanks to the paid subscribers who joined the chat yesterday to discuss scene writing and beyond.

I’m trying to think of other perks for paid subscribers. I don’t have time to write more posts—and you likely don’t have time to read more, either! The chat was my first experiment.

Would anyone be interested in the occasional Zoom Study Hall, like the kind I offer in my accountability groups? We would do a quick check-in and then go off to write alone/together.

Or, how about a Zoom bitch session? A place to share parenting woes…?

Please let me know if any of the above interests you.

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Before I take the week off for Thanksgiving, I wanted to recommend a board game that has seduced our entire family.

Then I will pass on a little parenting trick for talking to teens.

The Chameleon

When Bean told me he wanted to get Ginger a board game for her tenth birthday a few weeks ago, I was skeptical. He plays complicated strategy board games that take hours to learn, of which Ginger has zero interest.

“It’s not like that,” he said. “Trust me.”

The Chameleon, in fact, takes about ten minutes to figure out. I loathe learning games, so, if I could do it, anyone can. This one is appropriate for players ages six and up, though it requires decent reading skills so keep that mind for younger ones.

The game is sort of like Mafia, in that you’re trying to identify the secret chameleon in the group; or, if you’re the chameleon, you’re trying to blend in.

For each round there’s a category card—types of foods, say, or cities—with different nouns that fall under said category. Everyone but the chameleon knows the word from the category card. If the word is, say, “banana” everyone has to go around and say one word to describe it. You want your word to prove you’re not the chameleon, and also not too obvious that the chameleon can guess it from context clues. If you’re the chameleon, you’re trying to play it cool and blend in!

Then, the group has to collectively accuse one player of being a fraud, and that player must reveal if they’re indeed the chameleon. If so, the chameleon must then try to guess the word. If they aren’t the chameleon…well, I forget what happens next because it’s not that serious.

The game is fun because 1) You don’t have to keep score, which means there are fewer tears and fights 2) It requires perfecting one’s poker face 3) It’s intellectually engaging for children and adults alike, and, 4) It’s fast paced and active, with a lot of laughing and good natured yelling and j’accuse!-ing.

Also, there are blank cards to make your own categories. Ginger has made one for female singers (including Chappell Roan, Doechii, and…Nico), and one with our family members.

What a game! Put it on your holiday list!

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The Hot Tip

I usually avoid parenting books. For one, I’ve never been a self-help or even pop psychology reader. Also, parenting experts typically make me feel bad about my personality and/or how I’ve handled past situations. I find any childrearing rubric impossible (and silly) to follow.

(PS I loved this take by Patricia Zaballos!)

However, when an English teacher at Bean’s junior-senior high school formed a book club to discuss The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Lisa Damour, PhD, I was compelled to join. My eldest is now fourteen and things are getting complicated.

While I didn’t necessarily enjoy reading the book (the most wooden dialogue!) Damour does offer some useful advice and ways of thinking about your teenager’s inner life and emotional reactions.

There was one especially helpful tactic that I’ve used a couple of times to positive results…