I just wanted to say how much I appreciated this piece and also found it very relatable. We opted out of summer camps for my two elementary age kids this past summer for a variety of reasons and instead hired a summer nanny. It was a good arrangement for my kids, and I think ultimately less expensive than camps would have been. BUT. It was still painfully expensive and I spent a lot of the summer stressed out about money, just white knuckling through it. We also had to have a lot of awkward conversations with the nanny about how they consistently went over budget with the weekly activity/incidentals money we had set aside. In one conversation about it they said something like "Gosh, it is really expensive to do stuff with kids" <insert head exploding emoji>. Anyway, I always feel like I'm chasing the perfect childcare arrangement, that in my case won't make me feel resentful of my work, and I'm more and more convinced that I'll never find it in the great US of A.
Oh man don't even get me started on SUMMER CHILDCARE. Last summer we spent thousands on camps and preschool. Thousands! I think next summer I am just going to take a break from writing and be a full time mother. We can also use the money we saved from camps on traveling. It might be fun, it might be terrible. It also means I have to write during the school year---before it all gets sucked away by the summer! Ack. Anyway, I know what you're going through. Gosh kids are expensive!!!
"Right now, it’s definitely feeling like my writing is a hobby that must be paid for—rather than a career that pays for life." I FEEL THIS IN MY BONES.
A big fucking oof. I don’t think it helps to say that I’ve been there, but I have, and have always appreciated how transparent you are with sharing these actual numbers and realities. Is it a small consolation to say that the older the kids get you do start to get more time and freedom to use it? Though when people said that to me I definitely wanted to tell them to go fuck themselves what about now, so feel free to tell me the same!
Thank you! One of the problems is the 4-year age spread between each child. So while my oldest is more independent...my youngest is still SO YOUNG. Ay!
My sister once said to me that you're always in the stage of your youngest child, which really stuck with me; it's a kind of always paying attention to the caboose (I had to pull out a preschool line image; I could not help it). All this to say goddesspeed from this third child!
My kid keeps calling it "7 Eleven-thirty" and I don't correct him, because I'm hoping this small error will make it seem to any strangers in earshot like we're not there all the time?
Gawd, girlie. You’ve been on my mind off and on since I read your piece late this a.m. How in the ever loving fuck do parents of littles and middle schoolers deal with all this juggling every day? You and P seem to be terrifically involved yet unoverbearing ‘rents of your three. Shit, gurl, I admire your stamina. It was difficult enough when I was a young mama. xoxo
Edan, Edan, Edan. I so feel your pain. I have been wanting to write a similar post, but I've actually been reticent to do so for a variety of reasons I can share with you privately. I really appreciate what you wrote about the moods, the sugary treats, what it's like when you all arrive home. Sigh. It sucks. But thank you for making me feel less alone and less terrible.
Yep! Every word. The equations are so maddening. Time v. money v. sanity v. righteous indignation that writing pays so little v. all the time spent thinking of other more lucrative paths v. boiling it back down to this is what you want to do. Well expressed and hope new nanny works out!
I just wanted to say how much I appreciated this piece and also found it very relatable. We opted out of summer camps for my two elementary age kids this past summer for a variety of reasons and instead hired a summer nanny. It was a good arrangement for my kids, and I think ultimately less expensive than camps would have been. BUT. It was still painfully expensive and I spent a lot of the summer stressed out about money, just white knuckling through it. We also had to have a lot of awkward conversations with the nanny about how they consistently went over budget with the weekly activity/incidentals money we had set aside. In one conversation about it they said something like "Gosh, it is really expensive to do stuff with kids" <insert head exploding emoji>. Anyway, I always feel like I'm chasing the perfect childcare arrangement, that in my case won't make me feel resentful of my work, and I'm more and more convinced that I'll never find it in the great US of A.
Oh man don't even get me started on SUMMER CHILDCARE. Last summer we spent thousands on camps and preschool. Thousands! I think next summer I am just going to take a break from writing and be a full time mother. We can also use the money we saved from camps on traveling. It might be fun, it might be terrible. It also means I have to write during the school year---before it all gets sucked away by the summer! Ack. Anyway, I know what you're going through. Gosh kids are expensive!!!
"Right now, it’s definitely feeling like my writing is a hobby that must be paid for—rather than a career that pays for life." I FEEL THIS IN MY BONES.
Solidarity! xoxo
A big fucking oof. I don’t think it helps to say that I’ve been there, but I have, and have always appreciated how transparent you are with sharing these actual numbers and realities. Is it a small consolation to say that the older the kids get you do start to get more time and freedom to use it? Though when people said that to me I definitely wanted to tell them to go fuck themselves what about now, so feel free to tell me the same!
Thank you! One of the problems is the 4-year age spread between each child. So while my oldest is more independent...my youngest is still SO YOUNG. Ay!
My sister once said to me that you're always in the stage of your youngest child, which really stuck with me; it's a kind of always paying attention to the caboose (I had to pull out a preschool line image; I could not help it). All this to say goddesspeed from this third child!
My kid keeps calling it "7 Eleven-thirty" and I don't correct him, because I'm hoping this small error will make it seem to any strangers in earshot like we're not there all the time?
7 Eleven-thirty is so cute!
Gawd, girlie. You’ve been on my mind off and on since I read your piece late this a.m. How in the ever loving fuck do parents of littles and middle schoolers deal with all this juggling every day? You and P seem to be terrifically involved yet unoverbearing ‘rents of your three. Shit, gurl, I admire your stamina. It was difficult enough when I was a young mama. xoxo
Thank you, Mary Carol. We're hanging in there! xoxo
Edan, Edan, Edan. I so feel your pain. I have been wanting to write a similar post, but I've actually been reticent to do so for a variety of reasons I can share with you privately. I really appreciate what you wrote about the moods, the sugary treats, what it's like when you all arrive home. Sigh. It sucks. But thank you for making me feel less alone and less terrible.
Aww thanks Sara! xoxo
Yep! Every word. The equations are so maddening. Time v. money v. sanity v. righteous indignation that writing pays so little v. all the time spent thinking of other more lucrative paths v. boiling it back down to this is what you want to do. Well expressed and hope new nanny works out!
So maddening! Argh! xoxo
So maddening! Argh! xoxo